On this episode of the Car Chat Podcast, we are pulling up a seat at the table for the Proverbs 31 woman.
Um. So. What do you know about the Proverbs 31 Woman? She may have been the theme of a women's event, a book from your mentor, or a cross-stitched name on a throw pillow at your aunt's house.
But who is she?
It's easy to get overwhelmed with the list of amazing things that she does. But every action comes from a belief, a character trait, a virtue that drives her behavior. Her external actions are only the results of an internal life of dependence on and followship of Jesus. She is the picture of what wisdom looks like lived out. She is a poem and not a real person. She is the potential of WHO YOU can become.
We will see that the Proverbs 31 woman has many virtues, but we will highlight 4 in this episode:
1. dignity
2. patience
3. courage/strength
4. devotion
Our hope is that you will walk away encouraged and excited about who you can be as you hold to the truth, see life from God's perspective, and live accordingly. We can live wise lives as we attach ourselves to Jesus.
Much love,
Amy and Jamy
SHOW NOTES:
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Episode 12 ~ Proverbs 31 Woman
*See episode description in the show notes. Review Proverbs 31:10-31 for her story.
On this episode of the Car Chat Podcast, we are pulling up a seat at the table for the Proverbs 31 woman.
Um. So. What do you know about the Proverbs 31 Woman? She may have been the theme of a women's event, a book from your mentor, or a cross-stitched name on a throw pillow at your aunt's house.
But who is she?
It's easy to get overwhelmed with the list of amazing things that she does. But every action comes from a belief, a character trait, a virtue that drives her behavior. Her external actions are only the results of an internal life of dependence on and followship of Jesus. She is the picture of what wisdom looks like lived out. She is a poem and not a real person. She is the potential of WHO YOU can become.
We will see that the Proverbs 31 woman has many virtues, but we will highlight 4 in this episode:
1. dignity
2. patience
3. courage/strength
4. devotion
Our hope is that you will walk away encouraged and excited about who you can be as you hold to the truth, see life from God's perspective, and live accordingly. We can live wise lives as we attach ourselves to Jesus.
Much love,
Amy and Jamy
SHOW NOTES:
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Episode 12 ~ Proverbs 31 Woman
*See episode description in the show notes. Review Proverbs 31:10-31 for her story.
Hey everyone, welcome to Car Chat Podcast. I'm Amy, I'm Jamy, and each month we chat in my car about a woman of the Bible. And, Jamy, I just love our community of broken yet redeemed women Me too, with you listening, but then also with the women of the Bible that we're really getting to know and pulling the seat up at a table with and learning about the power and presence of God in their lives. We want you to know that you're not alone in your faith, in your struggle and in your growth, even when no one is around.
Amy:So, if you feel lonely or isolated wherever you're at, in your faith, if you're in your town, at your kid's school, at your church faith, if you're in your town, at your kid's school, at your church, know that we are here every month talking about a woman of Bible, sharing with you our lives, because you are not alone. We have you in mind. We have you in mind, sweet ladies. Well, Jamy, today is episode 12, and we are doing something a little different. Today we are chatting about the Proverbs 31 woman, da-da-da, yes. Now I wonder how that lands on some of you and we're going to answer the question who is she today? And the thing that we always say is that she is a lot like me.
Jamy:I'm like is she, we blew that one up this week, that she is a lot like me. But I'm like is she, we blew that one up this week? Is she really a lot?
Amy:like me. And then the other question that we, or the other thing that we always answer to, the question of who is she? She's a lot like me, which I'm like, maybe. And then who God is to her. He is to me, and it's really hard to identify who God was to her, except for some things that we're going to talk about. Um. So hold on, we're going to get to answering those questions as we kind of peel back her.
Jamy:I hope our listeners are going to be really surprised with maybe the when they hear us say that, or maybe they saw it on the on the description and are tempted to skip it that. I really hope they'll be surprised Me too, I was actually because I think we texted earlier this week. I'm like do we really want to do?
Amy:this. Yeah, I don't know about this lady because she has always been really intimidating to me, so let's go ahead with the snapshot and Proverbs 31. Woman is a 22-verse poem about a woman who fears the Lord and lives wisely. Yes, so that is who she is and I guess we need to really identify. Was she a real person? Who was she? And Jamy, how would you answer that?
Jamy:No, she's not a real person. She is an example. When you look at the context of this whole chapter and even the whole book, she is a teaching example. So she's meant to be kind of brought to the forefront and if we're being responsible and how we're taking those in, it is literally a Hebrew acrostic that is meant to help us remember what a woman who exemplifies everything that is taught in Proverbs, what she looks like. So when we turn it into a checklist and we're not okay with God unless we're doing everything that is on there anytime, we turn anything from the Proverbs into something that we expect to be given to us as a promise and we live up to it, we're not taking it the way it should be.
Amy:That's really good, we need to remember.
Jamy:It's a love poem from God to us of saying, hey, this is what I love in you, these are the things I love to see when you're like this. See, think about that, and I think that's such a great thing to say right off the bat. Yes, I think it's important right at the beginning.
Amy:Yes, because she is not a person who walked on this earth. No, that we have typically done.
Jamy:And all the other women.
Amy:Yes, are yes, and that's why we're kind of taking a turn here, but didn't want to overlook the Proverbs 31, woman, because she fits in his history. Yeah, right here. Yes, based on the timing in which it was written.
Jamy:Yeah, and when it would have originated in teaching it.
Amy:Yes, and so this is where she kind of fits, but we also thought it would be an interesting change to talk about her nonetheless, yes, and maybe confront some expectations that you have on yourself as a follower of Jesus, and so we're going to talk through these things. But one of the things that we wanted to do, as Jamie alluded to, is to read this poem. It is a poem and there's 22 verses in it and there's 22 letters to the Hebrew alphabet, and so, if it does not translate this way in English, we can't even see it.
Jamy:I don't even think you can kind of see it.
Amy:I don't even know the Hebrew alphabet, but the Hebrew. The beginning of every verse begins with the letter of the alphabet, in order that it follows. So for us, I was trying to take an example. Have you ever played in the car, the car game, the ABC car game? I'm going to a picnic and I'm going to bring a apple. And then you have to say I'm going to picnic, I'm bringing a apple and then be baloney, exactly.
Amy:Exactly so. This is kind of like that, but with so much more gravity in the message. But we do that to remember and that was one of the reasons why it was written this way for them to remember. So this is a really important vision of who we can be as we fear the Lord, ladies, this is our potential. It is, this is who we can be as we fear the Lord in devotion. This is our potential. It is, this is who we can be as we fear the Lord in devotion, as we'll see that she does.
Jamy:And it's. This is given at the very end of the book of Proverbs, and the book of Proverbs begins with the fear of the Lord and how important it is, and wisdom and it's all the way through. It's referenced, and I think the fact that it's right in the beginning and then this is kind of the summary at the end. It's such a beautiful way to say don't forget everything that's in the Proverbs and don't. This isn't ever meant to be about us achieving an outcome in our life that we want. If we do these kinds of things, then God's going to give us these. The Proverbs are not meant to be taken in as promises, and so they're meant to be. This is who this is. This is the kind of lifestyle that God likes. When his people live in fear of him and in a healthy fear of him and have wisdom, then this is kind of what this is what their life looks like, but not every single thing will be 100% true for us all the time.
Amy:I hope that as we are peeling back the layers of this Proverbs 31. Woman that, like I said before, you will confront maybe some wrong thinkings of it, maybe some shame that you have held of not being this way, but really hold it differently and loosely and knowing that this is who God can transform you to becoming really with the only effort that you need to have is to lean into him and to fear and follow him.
Jamy:Fear and follow. That's right, and so I think that's good.
Amy:It's been so helpful for me to have that as the framework. Yes, and we wanted you to have that as a framework before we started dialoguing about these things.
Jamy:It's very important, that's really important. I think that's what makes Proverbs 31, the Proverbs 31 woman kind of become a joke or be an intimidation that we just kind of push aside because we've tried to make it instructive in a way that it wasn't intended to be. Ooh, that's great. This is meant to show us what God values, not give us like this mold that we're always trying to squish ourselves into and our expectations.
Amy:Well, we're going to read it. So, if you have your Bibles, turn to Proverbs 31. We're going to read verses 10 through 20. No, 10. It's 22 verses, so 10 plus 22 is 31. So verses 10 through 31,. Jamie and I are going to read different bits and if you have your Bible open, follow along with us. And so we're going to read this poem of the Proverbs 31 woman.
Jamy:An excellent wife who can find her for her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life.
Amy:She looks for wool and household and portions to her attendants. She considers a field and buys it From her earnings. She plants a vineyard. She surrounds her waste with strength and makes her arms strong. She senses that her profit is good and her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her hands grasp the spindle.
Jamy:She extends her hand to the poor and she stretches out her hands to the needy. She's not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her households are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them. She supplies belts to the tradesmen.
Amy:Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She watches over the activities of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her, saying Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.
Jamy:Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain. That's a beautiful picture, it is. It's so special Of a Proverbs 31 woman.
Amy:Yeah, and so we've talked already about, maybe, some feelings when we're first confronted with this. Have you had a history in the past of dealing with the Proverbs? 31 woman.
Jamy:Yeah, my memories of this in the past are just kind of thinking of her and hearing about it and feeling a little bit intimidated, a little bit like lost in the middle. Like in the middle it gets a little bit. There's a lot of sewing.
Amy:And things that.
Jamy:I don't really get as I grew and began to study it, and then in the last several years, as a part of studying through the women of the Bible, when I began to really study it, what helped me the most is what we've already talked about really understanding the interpretation background for Proverbs. That helped me a lot. And then just having such a worthwhile, gracious goal, so it encourages me now. Now, sometimes I think there can be a trend among women who don't want to be thought of as being shallow in their theology, to kind of kind of make fun, kind of kind of think that this is, this is always what gets the. You know, if you're going to have Proverbs 31, it's going to be the theme at every women's event you have and kind of making a joke.
Jamy:But the reality is there is so much for us to learn as women from this section of scripture that I think we should joyfully embrace it and know with more confidence what God is really asking of us when we study it.
Amy:That's so good. I love that. It's a game changer. Yeah, she's the ideal.
Jamy:This is not the reality of God's expectation for how we live all the time. This is this ideal that we can pursue, wrapped up in a gracious, grace-filled, understanding relationship with God.
Amy:This vision of this woman is totally rooted in what we find in the last couple of verses as her devotion to God and her fear of Him, and there are certain virtues that we see because of her actions throughout that we're going to identify, because in the Christian life, faith without works is dead, but works without any heart or faith is nothing Religion. It's religion, exactly, and so they go hand in hand, and so they go hand in hand. And so if you would read this and only see the outer exterior demonstration, you will feel like you're less than and missing.
Jamy:Oh yeah, we just hate her yeah.
Amy:But let's go deeper and see what causes these actions and that's what we're going to do.
Jamy:What's the heart that these actions are the overflow from? And even I think sometimes we miss this in the way we kind of look at scripture in our New Testament life. But this whole idea of living with the fear of the Lord, that is an acknowledgement of our great need for God. At the core of having a walking in wisdom, a wise life that is centered in the fear of the Lord, is the reality that I need you. I am afraid to live without you. I have reverence and an acknowledgement and a cooperation that I'm going to live your way, according to your word, because I need you so much. I know I can't do this and I think that is an underlying part of the Proverbs 30 woman that we might miss, like you said, when we're just looking at the exterior.
Amy:Yeah, that's really good and, as you're saying that, I was thinking, gosh, where am I on the needy scale? Where are you listeners when you think about what Jamie just said and it drives us to acknowledge our need for God, our desperate need for him? How do you feel about that today? Do you feel like you need Him desperately? Are you really managing and controlling and maintaining some things really good right now?
Jamy:My kids got clothes. I bring food to my family. I work part-time or full-time, I'm doing all this stuff. I got work. If we can turn it into that and think we're doing it all, we are missing the point.
Amy:That is so true, and so really take inventory of where you are on the neediness for God. Yes, because that will truly indicate how much of this truth that you will really be able to absorb in your heart.
Jamy:That's absolutely right.
Amy:So let's go into a couple fun facts At the very beginning. We see, actually not in the poem that we talked about, but in Proverbs 31.1,. We see that it is the words of Lemuel Lemuel. And who do you know about him? What do we know about him?
Jamy:I think he's kind of a prototype. Yeah, I don't think we can say for sure exactly who wrote it. A lot of people think it's Solomon, I know.
Amy:Yeah, and I think I even said that in one of the previous episodes we did, when we talked about Bathsheba.
Jamy:We love that because then we can make this about her Exactly. But I don. I think, um, from what I studied and saw and you might have have a better understanding of this it's kind of again the prototype of what a what a King like. If you read the first part, the first nine verses, uh, this is what a good King should be about and this is the kind of woman he should look for.
Amy:Yes, that's kind of what I what I took from it, and someone I was reading had said it's more of a search list for a man and what he needs to find in a wife than a checklist for a woman, yeah, and so I thought that was really good.
Amy:Let's see. The second fun fact is that this is also this portion, this Proverbs 31 portion, is often known as the woman of valor. Yes, and in Jewish tradition, according to the Jewish Chronicle, it is a widespread tradition to sing this part of Scripture in Hebrew on Friday nights at home before Kaddish, as a song of praise to the woman of the house.
Jamy:That is so interesting, isn't?
Amy:that interesting. Yes, we want to share with you just a little bit so you can hear and listen to this song, sung in Hebrew, of Proverbs 31, 10 through 31. We're not going to play the whole thing, but we will list on our show notes a link to the YouTube that has it, and it's so cool because it has the Hebrew, and then it also has the translation in English while he's singing.
Jamy:Yeah, I thought that was really interesting. I was so glad you found this, so here's this. Isn't that so cool? Yes. And you know, if they're singing it you, then you know it.
Amy:Yeah, yeah, it's, it's I thought that was really neat, I know. So if y'all want to do some more study on that, that will be in our show notes. And then you also found something cool in the notes of something.
Jamy:Well, you know always, anytime I'm studying or teaching women or asking them to study the Bible, the number one tool is to read it multiple times in different translations, and so I just noticed I was reading this section in the New English translation, the Net Bible and the footnotes on Bible Gateway. At the bottom it listed, like each Hebrew letter, like the acrostic you were describing. It listed it all out by that.
Jamy:So, if you're interested in kind of seeing what each one stands for and kind of what the alphabet is. It was just a little bit.
Amy:That is really cool.
Jamy:For those that want to do a little bit of a deeper dive.
Amy:Yeah, I might actually take that and just put it in a PDF and actually.
Jamy:It was just an easy way to find it. Yeah, that was free, yeah.
Amy:That is so cool, because I don't know the Hebrew alphabet and I would be so curious of even what those letters are.
Jamy:It's really interesting.
Amy:Yeah, God's Word is so cool y'all. It is just so rich and deep, and I hope that you sense our love for His Word, but that you also have a love for the art and the beauty and the truth and the power that is all about his word, yeah.
Jamy:Well, especially with this, this isn't just a list of impossible qualities to make us feel bad. It's this beautifully written poem to describe this femininity that is the ideal.
Amy:Yes, the biblical femininity and biblical womanhood is the ideal. Yes, the biblical femininity and biblical womanhood. And isn't it so cool that God's word gives space to honor this in a woman.
Jamy:And even it's actually inclusive, because at the end of the book of Proverbs, special attention is given to say this is what it looks like when a woman is living out everything in Proverbs that we've been talking about. I just love it. It's it's, it's great, it's so special.
Amy:So let's let's shrink off the ickies of thinking that this is some standard that we can't meet up to ever, but let's really embrace who the Proverbs 31 is as the potential of who we can be.
Jamy:Yeah, it's God's invitation to come up to him in, in, in character and in an inside out relationship. It's not, it's never meant to be a burden, like someone else's clothes put on top of us or something or someone else's expectations that weigh us down. That's so good, it's an invitation to be even a better version of ourselves.
Amy:So let's now dive into the four ways to describe the Proverbs. 31 woman, and usually we describe her in three ways, but we've decided, because there's so much to this and we're even making generalizations with these four.
Jamy:Yes, it's not just the story that we can bring into three.
Amy:Exactly Because this is different. And so, who is she? Let's not be intimidated. Let's actually see her as who we can be because of the Lord, and it's more than specific actions, but it's actually the virtues that drive those actions.
Jamy:I love that. I'm so glad that you're bringing that up, because that's that's going to be so important for our understanding of not keeping it shallow.
Amy:Yeah, and there's nothing. I mean we can't make these things happen within ourselves. I mean it's a total dependence on the Lord, that neediness that we need for the Lord. So the first way that we're going to describe the Proverbs 31 woman is that she is dignified or has dignity. And I had to look up what dignity means, because it was one of those words that. I didn't really know what to say. We can use it in a sentence, but what does it really?
Jamy:mean.
Amy:Right, and I know it's a good thing, but I just didn't know.
Amy:So here's what the dictionary says about dignity Dignity is the state or the quality of being worthy of honor or respect.
Amy:State or the quality of being worthy of honor or respect, it's self-respect and value rooted in your value. And that's an interesting thing to start with, I think, because as you assess your actions throughout the day, how many of those things are rooted in insecurity and disrespect. And I mean the way that you respond to somebody, maybe because you don't feel like you are worthy to have that conversation, or you're agreeing with them about something negative they're saying to you, or you snap at your kids because you feel like a bad parent because they're showing this behavior. So dignity is a huge part of living in wisdom and fear of the lord, and wisdom is really encased is the massive umbrella over all of proverbs, yeah, and then primarily with this, proverbs 31 yes, definitely. So. It's also important for us to define wisdom and for our purposes today, as I looked up in the dictionary, it said that wisdom is the ability to discern what is true, what is right and what is lasting, and then the biblical angle to that is seeing life from God's perspective and acting accordingly.
Jamy:Yes, I love that first part about being able to recognize truth. That's going to be huge Cause. If you believe a whole bunch of lies about yourself, that's how you're going to act. If you believe truth about yourself, then wisdom is acting out of it.
Jamy:So we got to know the truth, then we believe it and then we live out of it. That's knowledge and wisdom, and I see those going hand in hand, those going hand in hand. I've heard before that wisdom is knowledge with shoes on, kind of like. I've learned this. Now I'm going to, now I'm going to start walking in it, you know, taking some action.
Amy:That is so cool, cause that's what she does. Yes, she had her knowledge, she has her knowledge, and then she is living it out. And and if you are feeling disconnected between those two, maybe you feel like you know a lot or don't know a lot but they have to be connected in order for you to live the life of wisdom and knowing the truth about yourself is a huge piece.
Jamy:Yeah, and sometimes, when we come to a passage like this or a lesson like this today, like even right now, if you're feeling squirmy with this I think sometimes we try to force the exterior actions without examining the interior. So maybe we all need to start thinking what do I believe about myself? Do I have value? Or am I going to listen to some other voice or some other thing that has either made me feel or, straight up, told me that I don't have value? Well, god has said I do. So what am I going to believe? And then, from there, we know how to live. Isn't that so cool? Yes, it's important. Oh my gosh, why do we?
Amy:struggle with this so much? Because we believe lies? Yes, because we're sinners? Yep, because we don't believe that God can, in his grace, over, transform us and redeem us and cover us. Is there anything else that you would add to that?
Jamy:I think the noise of things around us, kind of we, we, we forget to listen and to prioritize and remember the truth. We just can, kind of it's distractions or it's intentional sabotage, but we just lose it sometimes.
Amy:And it's so ironic to me, because we have to understand our brokenness and our sin and our need for God in order to receive him and his help. But then we can't stay in it. We have to live redeemed and the truth of who we are. But there is this familiarity of our brokenness, but we can't use it to condemn us because of what Jesus did Right.
Jamy:And it feels so when you're broken. It's not that it doesn't matter it, it matters those things, those people, the experiences are hard and they happened and they are real. So figuring out how to tell yourself the truth in all of those and not stay in that brokenness and trust God to heal you out of it I know that's messy we have, we understand that, we get that.
Amy:We really do, and I wonder if you're listening and you're like, yeah, I want to live in wisdom, but I have zero respect for myself because of how I was treated in the past, because of how I feel like I don't measure up to other Christians that are living, that I see their lives. Maybe there is sin that you are habitually in or a sin from your past that you just cannot let go of. Those are all ways that you can be tethered to disrespect of yourself and it's not selfish or egotistical to have self-respect, because it's of who God says you are. That's right and not your self-edification of your own behaviors.
Jamy:And one of the later verses. Do you remember where it is? Where, in one of the later ones, this whole idea of dignity comes up? I think it's in 25. She talks about how she wears strength and dignity or honor. Is this in your list? Are you going to get to this? Because I looked up what it means right there. And the word honor right there means goodly, which I think is hilarious. Means what goodly? Goodly, glory, beauty, majesty, excellency, comeliness. But the root of that word for honor right there, or dignity, is weight, and you know that's not really very popular in a woman's Bible, but when you think about something that has honor that has dignity, has weight, where you take up space in your life.
Jamy:You're heavy there because you matter, and I think having God defined weight, god defined dignity, means I can sit here kind of like a paperweight Not that I'm not taking any motion, but I can take up my space and say I belong, I am here. God says this is who I am and I'm not going to be blown away, I'm not going to be pushed over, I'm not going to be treated as something that just is frivolous, because God has made me matter, he's given weight to my existence. So I don't know if there's a better way to say it than weight, I think that was so good.
Jamy:When I first learned that that's what it means to honor self. To honor others is to give them weight to accept and believe the weight that we have.
Amy:Gosh to validate their space on this earth, and that was verse 25,. Strength and dignity are her clothing.
Jamy:Yes, I love that. That was the first thing you used to describe her as she has dignity. You, you have value, I have value, we do listeners and look at her.
Amy:We do matter and you matter, and if you don't think you are, then you're believing a lie. That's right, and if you are using the world to tell you who you are, that's the wrong source.
Jamy:That makes us feather light.
Amy:We just blow around Awfully skinny. But these are some of the places within this Proverbs 31 dialogue or poem that made me think that she knows that she has dignity. She says that she's worth more than rubies. Her husband is actually affected by her dignity because in verse 23, he's respected at the gate. She is able to open her arms to the poor and help the needy because she believes in her own value.
Jamy:She then values others Right, because it comes out, comes across as confidence, yes, and so that's what helps her, I think, gives her the strength to do all these things for people, for her people.
Amy:And it makes you generous because you're no longer needing to take things from others To be okay. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, you are free to then give that's good. Yeah, free to then give that's good. Yeah, that is really good.
Jamy:I need to think about that one for a bit. Oh, my goodness, I know Yikes. And then A little note to look at that more later.
Amy:I love this part she is, her clothes are with fine linen and purple, and I think sometimes as women, oh, I don't deserve to have that. I need to be plain, I need to yes, plane I need to yes.
Jamy:And this woman really celebrates the beauty of, of material and clothing and and I think that we can too, in believing that we are worthy enough yeah, the point of that is that what she is preparing for herself on the end, for her people because it's not just her, all of her people, but she's doing, what she's making on the outside reflects the confidence she feels on the inside, and I think that is a great reminder for us. You are not somehow holier than thou if you're plainer than everyone else. Wow, that's good.
Amy:That's really good, and you're not better than someone else if you have the bells and whistles and the bling bling.
Jamy:That's right. That's not what it comes from.
Amy:That's really something to chew on, and so if you need to just make some notes here to come back later to really journal and talk through some of these things with the Lord, we hope and encourage you to do that. So the first way that we're going to describe her is she has dignity. The second one is that she is patient.
Amy:I did not want to put this one down, because this is very difficult, but it is definitely a character virtue that shows itself in so many external actions. But let's first define, define, define, patience, patience and you can add to this, jamie, if you have something, but it's the capacity to accept or tolerate, delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset. And then, when we put that with wisdom, you can do that because you see life from God's perspective and act accordingly.
Jamy:Yeah, perspective and act accordingly. Yeah, when you're defining your life as God does, it gives you patience to be able to to not just lose it when things aren't going the way you want. This is when it comes to suffering, when it comes to waiting all that is continuously taught throughout all of scripture and modeled by our savior. It's absolutely, crucially important that we know that we will suffer, that we know we will have struggles, that we know we will be required to be patient. Yes, forced to be patient. Oh yeah, he will not. He loves us too much to not give opportunity for us to be growing in this.
Amy:That's so good, and one of the things that I see within her picture that she does show patience is when she has to bring her food from afar. It's not like she's just doing Walmart drop off at your front door.
Jamy:I just as a joke all the things about the food in here. I just want to make it into getting takeout. She's kind of like she's bringing it Like does this count for ordering a pizza?
Amy:Exactly I know, and I don't think it's necessarily a standard yeah.
Jamy:This is more. She's doing a really she's giving the best, yeah.
Amy:But then she's also being patient in gathering it and what it takes to get it and what it takes to get it and not having the immediate satisfaction of getting it fixed. Getting it done, right satisfaction of getting it fixed, getting it done. She is waiting from afar, and that's what spoke so much to me on this. Um, it's not that she's just creating these organic meals for her kids and not throwing down frozen waffles, which that's what my son had for breakfast today Frozen waffles.
Amy:They are delicious. So it's not necessarily saying that, but it's saying being patient in the process of doing what is excellent, yeah.
Jamy:And recognizing the needs of people around you whose needs might require a little more of your time and effort than you would normally want to do or just naturally want to do.
Amy:That's really true and we also see in verse 16, she considered a field and we don't know how much time is?
Amy:considered yeah, like whenever I made we made the decision to buy a house, it took a process because we had to do pros and cons list, we had to check our finances and do all those things, and so we don't know what it involves for her to consider buying a field. But she had agency to buy one as a woman and so the, the strength and the the um, the power that she had to govern that within her life is so cool, the intellect, all of it.
Jamy:Yeah, she considers that she knows Very edifying. She's experienced, yeah.
Amy:But it is a process and it is so hard to wait on the process and I think too that's what patience is. Growing anything, because she then plants a vineyard. Growing anything Growing children, Growing the love in your marriage, Growing your ministry, Growing your own internal self with the Lord it takes time. Growing friendships yeah, absolutely it takes time.
Jamy:I love that about this. One of the things originally that I saw in these verses that I loved was her longevity of doing good. Yeah, I love that part of the beginning that says she's trustworthy, her husband can trust and believe that she's going to do good and not harm. And those words are are the old Testament words of good and evil, wicked and evil. Like good, be good or wicked she's. She's trustworthy that she is consistently going to do good. Her family, her husband, her kids, her people don't have to kind of live in fear of who am I going to get today and that that. That stings. But the longevity of that because that verse says that it's all the days of her life I think it's so interesting.
Jamy:The day she lives not necessarily the days that he lives, like as long as he's alive, I'll be good to him, but, man, the day he dies, I'm, it's her, it's who she is. The day she lives, there's a longevity of her goodness, of this service, and and I that, I think, also describes her patience that is a really wonderful reflection angle of her.
Amy:With patience, it's a goal to look.
Jamy:Could that be said about me? After I've lived with these people for 10, 20, 30, 40 years, Can they still say I trust her to be good to me?
Amy:It also dispels the game that we can often play of being all these things outside of our home, and then we close the door and we are completely somebody different.
Amy:There is no room for that there's no room for that. She is authentically true to who she is and she is patient. I love that. And then, in verse 27, it says that she watches over the affairs of her household and she is not idle. So she is, she's a doer, she's working, but it's all from the point of trusting the Lord. Yes, with what he does with her life.
Jamy:I think it was the Amplified. I was telling you about this, the Amplified classic when I read it. When it talks about not being idle, it just doesn't mean like inactive. I think it means being disciplined with her actions, because it has it says that she's not gossiping or something else, some other things like that.
Amy:And I thought idleness sometimes can it's not just that you're not doing anything, sometimes it's just that you're not doing the right thing that's a really that plays, and so by that it also means, I would guess as I'm just putting these pieces together as the words are flowing out of my mouth but it's being disciplined with your time, yes, disciplined with your choices, yes, and it's not just being a busy body, yes.
Amy:Or a busy just not being busy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It is about being disciplined with your time, whether it is doing those things that are priority, but then also taking time to rest. And I, I, I.
Amy:I have looked at her in the past and gone. She is a worker, she's up all night, she never sleeps. How can I be this woman? Is this what God is calling me to do? And no, within this one word from what Jamie just described, it's. It's really being disciplined with your time and giving yourself allowance of rest, giving yourself prioritized uh agenda or calendar or rhythms of your life, and we see that in her. Yeah.
Jamy:For us. I would describe it as a gospel centered kingdom, focused to life. You know, are my activities going toward that? Are they intentionally going that direction? Not every single thing I do, but the direction of my life needs to be going that way. That's good, so that I'm not just just calling yourself busy to be busy, I mean there's a whole nother. I want to say Psalm 127. You know, if you, it's that's a waste. If you stay up all night and you never rest and you're just building your house with your own hands and not with God, then it's a waste. So she lives by the fear of the Lord, in his wisdom, out of his wisdom, and that's what makes her effective and that's what makes her patient.
Amy:So let's do a little check Checkpoint. Let's do a little check checkpoint. Let's do a little convict of myself. Let's do a little checkpoint here. Ladies, if, if you find yourself feeling condemned because of the words that we're saying, yeah, take a breath, yep, and attach yourself to the truth that you are of great value to the lord. Yes, but then also don't take maybe how your pattern of living has been as a sentence for the future or condemnation, but accept your neediness for the Lord and, from right now, engage him in who you are and ask him to show you the truth. Read his word, be around Christians and have conversations about what that looks like, because it would be so easy to really slip into gosh. I'm not patient. I stink or I'm never going to meet up to this how hard can you do this? For the rest, of your life?
Amy:Are you kidding me ever going to meet up to this? How hard can you do this for the rest of your life? Are you kidding me so? Courageous and strong is defined as the ability to do something that is unknown, that is frightening or painful.
Jamy:Okay, isn't that colorful. I like the definition, I just don't want to do it.
Amy:To be strong and courageous. And don't we know back in the Old Testament? It's an adventure, not necessarily something terrifying.
Amy:How many times did God tell Moses and Joshua when they were leaving their slavery and going into the promised land, which took patience because it took so long for them to get there, and when they got there, it was still hard? God told them all throughout be strong and courageous. Remember who I am. I am with you. Be strong and courageous. Remember who I am. I am with you. Be strong and courageous. Be strong and courageous, and maybe that's what you need to hear right now in your life situation. God is saying to you be strong and courageous. Remember the truth of who I am, remember the truth of who I say you are, and keep stepping along with me. That's right, and she was that in this.
Jamy:That's right, and she was that in this, even the word virtue or the excellent woman as it defines it at the very beginning in verse 10, that word virtuous, noble, excellent, that has kind of a warrior kind of mentality. No, it has a warrior underlying tone to it. When it's used other places it kind of has this idea of might. That's cool. She's a mighty woman, she, she is valiant, she's virtuous, she's excellent because she's mighty, and I think that goes kind of with the courage she can do hard things.
Amy:Yes, she can, and I think that that is an encouragement that we all need to hear and know, not in our own strength, that we can do hard things because our God is with us.
Jamy:And you don't have to be glad to do it, you just have to know who you're following into it.
Jamy:And then you'll be glad that you did. The glad sometimes comes later. The burdens we put on ourselves to be able to manage everything, and there's just some things that will be hard and you shouldn't have to do them and you don't have to want to do them, but you still can. And and on the other side, you'll be glad you did. I mean that's, that's what I mean by that. I I've never regretted walking with God into a hard thing that I didn't want to do Never, Wow, it's okay that I didn't want to do it.
Amy:Yeah, and he didn't rescue me from that, the hard thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and just over lunch. He didn't make you do it alone. Exactly.
Amy:And just over lunch, you and I were talking about some hard things in our lives and we were just like this plays to that. Um, we can do the hard things even if there is no hope of reprieve or of change. Yeah, we can do the right thing and.
Jamy:I don't care how isolated listeners, I don't care how isolated you feel in the hard thing that you have to do Like I'm not going to do this because no one cares and no one knows, and I'm not going to. If God's calling you to something, to walk through something or towards something or away from something, as you stay with him, you have more influence than you realize. Stay with him. You have more influence than you realize. There is something you are building, a heritage, a legacy, uh, just as the Proverbs 30 woman, this picture that matters and as we do, life and community together, even if you don't see it now and you feel completely alone in it, there's a place in a time where that is something that is an example to someone else.
Amy:That's so good, and you have to be patient with the growth process and believe who you are. There's a number of different places within this text that shows that she's courageous and strong and does things that are hard. She works with eager hands, she gets up while it's still night and provides for her family. That is hard, she works vigorously and hurt, but it actually says her arms are strong strong arms.
Jamy:Yes, she wears strength Like it's her garment. I mean, it's something like when I think about the things in my life like how would someone describe me Like the most obvious thing? It's like she wears it like a jacket. Would it be straight? Probably not, but for her it is, and I like the part where it talks about her being strong. It says she girds up her loins, which is such a gross thing to say, but in the Bible what that means is you are getting your life ready to start moving to for action, and I think a lot of her. She's strong in that she is. She's getting that dress you know how you used to tuck in your is tucking your skirt so you could run better. Yeah, that's what she's doing. She's ready, she's preparing for whatever god is calling her to do.
Amy:Oh, that's so good. In verse 25 it says she is clothed with strength and she can laugh at the days to come I love that one.
Jamy:She smiles at the future when that's my favorite interprets or translation what does that mean to you?
Amy:what, what encouragement does that give to you? I?
Jamy:think it means she lives for me as I'm following this example. It means living in a way today that I can look with hope and gladness toward the future, instead of being so consumed by the fear of today or the regret of the past, because I'm walking with God and I'm believing who he says I am. I'm walking in that wisdom. When I look toward the future, there's a smile, there's hope, there's yes, let's go, we can, we can go there, it's, it's worth going. Whatever it is that is around that corner, with God, we'll go.
Amy:And we know I fear the future all the time and I have so many, so much much. I give so much energy to preparing for the worst case scenario that usually never happens right and I want to, in my 50s, be able to laugh at the days to come. And she does prepare.
Jamy:It's a huge theme of this in this model woman. She is working to prepare and he says she doesn't have to worry about snow days because her family has the coverings they're going to need. So she is doing that. This isn't. I don't think smiling at the future doesn't mean that you just are carefree and don't care about anything. But I think she shows a good balance of that of trust and preparation.
Amy:Yeah, and it's the internal steadiness of regardless of what comes, a settled identity, yes. Internal steadiness of of regardless of what comes, settled identity, yes, a settled identity.
Amy:All these mush together I mean it really all mushes together and and if you find yourself here's our our checkpoint for this one If you find yourself weak and not feeling strong at all, or if you find yourself in the middle of a really hard thing and you are a mush ball on the ground, know that the Lord is the one who is with you and he can be your strength when you are strengthless.
Speaker 3:If that's the word You're just weak. When you're weak, that's the word.
Amy:When you're weak and uncertain, just call out to him. I mean, that's how you do it. You just say, lord, I am weak and I need your strength. And it's crazy the power that comes in that request, because he hears you and he responds All right. So our Proverbs 31 woman has dignity. She was patient, she was courageous and strong and then finally, she is devoted. She was courageous and strong and then finally, she is devoted. And I decided to add this as the fourth, because it's really the core root of all these other things. It is so we had to finish with it. The chapter finishes with it, and so that's why she is devoted. Now, the definition of devoted is this she can love, she is loyal and she is enthusiastic for a person or cause.
Jamy:Okay, I don't think of enthusiasm and devotion going together, and I like it, I know.
Amy:She is loyal, she's loving and she's enthusiastic for a person Because, with wisdom, she sees life from God's perspective and acts accordingly. And so we see in verse 26, she speaks with wisdom and has faithful instructions. So she is speaking out her devotion to the Lord. And then we see in verse 30 that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. And we see that she is totally founded within the fear of the Lord. Yeah, she's defined by that. Yes, she is. What does that mean and look like for us as women in this day and age, to be defined by our devotion and fear of the Lord?
Jamy:Devotion, I don't know. Devotion is a word to me that means that goes toward affection, and I don't know if that's right. Love, loyal, yeah, but for me devotion is always an overflow of where my heart is most attached to some kind of attachment, attachment, affection, and so I always think who do I love?
Jamy:Why do I love? Who is at the core of my heart's deepest affection? Cause I can say all kinds of things and the women listening to this. We are pros at making this look right, but in the reality, who's really there? What am I really attached to? That will have my devotion, that's, that's where my devotion will lie. That's the examine that. Those are the questions to ask. What is my heart?
Amy:attached to. I think that that is exactly the picture of a devotion, of what devotion is, and you're going to have to look inside yourself and answer that honestly. Honestly, not like what you think the Proverbs 31 woman should be.
Jamy:Yeah, or what would you say if you were standing on the stage at your church and someone asked you? But just you and God, and you can, we can fearlessly examine this, because the truth is, our hearts are very attached a lot of times to people in a way that isn't bad. I mean, loving people is good, being attached to people is good but those attachments can become so toxic, so toxic, and sometimes our attachments are to our quest for rightness and our demand for rightness in a way that makes us really our attachment is to bitterness and to our own demands. And I just think it can be a very difficult question and we ask it. We ask you to examine it with a lot of tenderness, even though I wish you were with us right now in the car and you could realize how much we want to get this right with you, because we know what is, what a vulnerable place that is, to really go deep into that question.
Amy:Man, as you were talking, I was thinking through what have I been devoted to other than the Lord in my life? What have I been attached to? And for you, ministry wives, who you are listening out there, jamie and I both have been ministry wives. We serve and love ministry wives in our state and I always have them in my mind and heart. But I remember, as a ministry wife, being so attached to my role or even my work of doing things for the Lord and truly forsaking my relationship intimate, surrendered, desperate relationship for him because I am leading others to do that. So I can't be that, which is so not true, right, but I think that's one place in which I have been attached to something and it was so shady because it's something about the Lord of doing his work, of what he's called me to do. But I just had a slightly turned affection and it was for the work, basically for my own benefit and adulation.
Amy:I guess if I would reveal, go deeper on that.
Jamy:And our attachments are going to shape our expectations, which is why that in the ministry life that can be so dangerous. Because if my attachment is more to the work that I'm doing because of what I get from it, my expectations are going to be that I get some kind of feedback that I've earned because of this work I'm doing and when that doesn't happen, it's, it's really destructive and it can make me.
Jamy:it can, it can really make me not a servant of God. It can make me, uh, someone who is is really working the opposite of what God not against God, but but in my own strength, working in ministry in a way that is not what God would want, right.
Amy:Not cooperating with Him.
Jamy:Yeah, becoming dismissive of things that we shouldn't be dismissive of, and embracing things and relationships and demands that we should be, that we should be dismissing, it just really gets us upside down. And we start ignoring the people that need our attention and giving attention to the people that we should be giving distance and not having, not watering and nourishing the real spiritual growth, but just selfishness, and that can really become toxic and it can damage our husbands and our children and our people, our churches.
Amy:Goodness and that plays out to outside the ministry wife role for moms and women who prioritize and attach themselves even to the good things. Like ministry is good. Yes.
Speaker 3:Your family is good, but we have to take care of them Exactly.
Amy:If you have an attachment to them which which then feeds expectations and let's say, one throws a temper tantrum in the middle of target or on the front row of your church, then that is so crushing because you were having so much attachment to them in unhealthy ways that really usurped your attachment to the Lord. So that's really something to think about. What is your heart attached to right now? That is priority over the Lord.
Jamy:Yeah, A lot of times when I'm studying the Bible, this will come back as a theme to me in different ways of kind of a little reminder from from the Holy spirit, of what is your heart attached to and what is your will demanding, Like, what is my heart really? Where's my attachment? But also where's my? Where am I putting down my roots? Where am I digging in my heels and saying this is what I'm demanding? I think when we put both of those together, that's who we really are.
Amy:That is so good.
Amy:I think y'all and you could probably already know this I say that is so good all the time, and every time now I'm saying it, I think, oh, my goodness, if people would put nickels in a jar every time I say it, we'd be rich, but it is really from an overflow of golly.
Amy:I love our conversations and I love God's word and I love really the wisdom that has grown in you in these decades and and how you live it out and how we have those kinds of conversations together. And I just pray, ladies, that as you are listening to this and men yes, listeners, listeners. As you are listening to this and and maybe have opportunity to have conversations about this, that you too will begin identifying those places within your life that are broken and are able to bring them into the light, maybe in a conversation with somebody else. Radically change you, change your life, change your who you are on the inside, study you to his truth and create within you this beautiful vision of who you can become, as we see in this, proverbs 31. Well, jamie, is there anything else that you want to add?
Jamy:Just, one thing I loved there, toward the end of verse 26,. It talks about how she teaches with wisdom and with love. And I think that kindness it might be translated different ways, I don't have it right in front of me but the kindness and the love that is that Old Testament beautiful verse that we can't even really, we can't even really define that talks about God's love for us. When it talks about his faithful, loving kindness maybe you've seen that in different passages. It's used over and over and over again in the Old Testament. So when in this passage and we're talking about this ideal, you know God inviting us to do the very best we can to walk with him in wisdom, and this is kind of some of what it will look like when we give instruction to be loving. And I just want to say this, and it goes so good with what you were just saying, amy, with our experience and the years, that we start to walk with him and you can kind of see that growth, a loving woman, she loves like this, she's able to love in her instruction and love in her actions because she knows she is beloved.
Jamy:And I, just before, before we leave them, I just want to bring that out in in a lesson where we are talking, or in a conversation where we're talking about the Proverbs 31 woman.
Jamy:What I most want you to know about her, she's a woman who walks in wisdom because she has listened to what God says and she's going to walk obediently according to that. But she also does it with this faithful kindness and love because she knows she is loved like that by God, and that's that's who, that's how we're, that's what we're called to do, and the rest of it whether or not I'm supposed to get up early and change my sheet and have red clothes for my kids that all of that, those details, fall underneath. That's so good, this beautiful truth that I can love this kid who is rebellious and this church member who is difficult and this husband who is really struggling with anxiety or depression or something that is making me feel like he's not being his best. I can love them with kindness because that's how God loves me and that seems so simple. We love because he first loved us.
Jamy:It says in 1 John you can love, you can be this woman, not because you're living up to the ideal, but because you're walking with a God who loves you and calls you to do it and he makes a way and we don't do it perfectly. I mean, I've already messed it up today and we'll mess it up again. That's not the point.
Jamy:The point is staying with Him, walking with Him and learning. And as the years go by, we do learn.
Amy:We do grow, we do learn.
Amy:I hope that this conversation has been an encouragement to you and maybe set your sights on something a little different than what you've always expected.
Amy:With the Proverbs 31 woman, she is a woman that gives evidence to the wisdom of God and living a life of wisdom, and it's so much more than just the external actions that we can list from this Proverbs, but it all boils down to the internal virtues that the Lord is growing in you. Oh, yes, we so hope that you, through this conversation, have seen and grown and maybe viewed the Proverbs 31 woman just a little bit differently, that you see it as a potential for you to become as you follow and love and serve and fear the Lord. Remember, the Proverbs 31 woman is a poem. It's a vision of who you can be. You can be dignified, patient, strong, courageous and devoted because as you follow Jesus, you gain his perspective and you act accordingly, and that is wisdom, and we so hope that for you. Well, we are so grateful that you listened and we're looking forward to next time on Car Chat Podcast. We'll see you then.