Episode 10: Hannah - Women of the Bible Series

Welcome to Season 2 and Episode 10! 

We are starting 2024 off with HANNAH (1 Samuel 1-2).  Her story follows Naomi's (Episode 5) in biblical order.

We continue to answer the question: WHO IS SHE and discover 2 things:
- she is a lot like you and me
- and who God is to her, he is to you and me.

Hannah is such an amazing sister. Interestingly, she is the 4th women in the bible narrative who struggled with infertility. But, she was the ONLY ONE who walked through it with unwavering faith. There is MUCH to learn from her story.

Jamy and I had such a blast chatting about her in my car while parked in an empty church parking lot. We can so related to her in our mothering journeys.

We will see that Hannah:
1. lived in grief
2. poured out her heart
3. and was faithful in obedience.

We talk about things like: being someone's target of ridicule, the importance of knowing God as it impacts the resolve of our faith, how to name our emotions and the relief that brings, pouring out our hearts to God without filter, control issues, and what it looks like to let go as mothers.

Hannah's obedience, the dedication of her son Samuel, and the far-reaching impact of her choices weave together a historic tapestry that speaks to the enduring power of faithful obedience.

She is one of us.  Who God is to her, he is to you and me.
You are my alone, my friend.
 
Much love,
Amy and Jamy

SHOW NOTES:

*NOTE: Peninnah's fate of her children at 51:13 was sourced from Jewish tradition and is not found in the Bible (Source HERE)

*NOTE:  Amy's journal reboot was prompted by this book Fuel to Ignite Your Soul: The 40-Day Challenge by Ross Alan Hill

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Episode 10 ~ Hannah 

*See episode description in the show notes. Review 1 Samuel 1-2 for her story. 

1. What did you learn for the first time about Hannah? What surprised you about her story with God? 

2. Read Romans 8:28 and the following statement; “Ordinary situations are the most meaningful in human life, and it is in these that God works for good.”* What do you think about this statement? How do you see this working out in Hannah’s life and example? 

3. What did you learn from how Hannah handled Peninnah? How can you apply this in your difficult interpersonal relationships? 

4. Hannah’s response to very deep grief was open-hearted prayer. What do you think of that?  In what ways is this easy or challenging for you? Brainstorm some practical ways you can deepen your prayer life. {Hint: Amy shared her experience with journaling in the podcast!} 

5. Why could Hannah offer her son to serve God with such a glad heart? What verses in 1 Samuel 2 show us that she could do this? How does this translate to you as you too have things/people you love that you need to surrender? What does this look like as you learn to let go of your children?

6. Although Hannah’s story can apply to many parts of our lives, this lesson has a strong motherhood application. Review the verses Amy shared; Psalm 62:8 and Lamentations 2:19 and describe how they encourage you. 

7. Review the three descriptions of Hannah from the podcast and discuss which one resonates the most with you: 

· Lived in Grief 

· Poured out her heart 

· Was faithful in obedience 

8. “Hannah is us. Who God is to her, He is to me.” Who was God to Hannah? What does that mean to you in your life today? 

*quoted from the Introduction to 1 Samuel in the E

Transcript

Amy: 0:07

Hey everyone, welcome to Car Chat Podcast. I'm Amy, I'm Jamy, and each month, we chat in my car about one woman of the Bible, and this is our first episode of 2024. We have an entire year lined out for you and can't wait to continue these conversations and, if you've missed it, there is a bonus episode that we just dropped. That is a review of all the ladies that we talked about in 2023. And we each just share one thing that we remember about them. It's a great review.

Jamy: 0:42

I had such a fun time. That was so good. I loved doing that.

Amy: 0:45

It was good for me to remember I know, it's like we all just pulled up a seat at the table and all just sat there, and it is actually in order of how they appear in the Bible, which is not necessarily how we posted them in episode order.

Amy: 1:00

So it's a really great resource. We hope it's encouraging to you. Also, if you, too, wanted to review what these ladies meant to you with one thing or one bottom line, there is a resource on your show notes, along with the chart that says what episode they are and what order they come in. There's also a place for you to fill out your own one thing, so we hope that that will be a great reminder we need to remember, because it's not natural to us.

Jamy: 1:26

We need the review. We do it. Yeah, we do need it.

Amy: 1:29

Well, this year, in 2024, our purpose is the same. We're answering the question who is she? And we're discovering these two things that she is a lot like me and who God is to her, he is to me. We really love this community, here in the podcast of broken yet redeemed women, but also with these women in the Bible.

Jamy: 1:49

It's been a fun bridge to connect.

Amy: 1:53

They feel like friends and sisters, and we really want to learn the power and presence of God in our lives, because we are not alone in our faith and our struggle and our growth. Even though you're lonely and you see nobody around, you see no one in your community or your church or your neighborhood that is walking in faith alongside of you. We're here in voice, and then there's also these women in the Bible that will come alongside and support you through the power of the Holy Spirit. So please share this podcast with whoever the Lord lays on your heart. It's been fun hearing stories about someone saying well, someone share this with me because I'm going through some situation and it really was encouraging to me. So whoever the Lord lays on your heart, he is always working, and be willing to share and or even to mention a word of encouragement to them with scripture is always a blessing for me to be Definitely Well. Today is episode 10. Episode 10.

Jamy: 2:51

Yes, and we are chatting about Hannah.

Amy: 2:54

So every episode, we like to root it in scripture and give you a snapshot. Now, hannah's story is only in two chapters, and so it's not as overwhelming as some of these others which spanned a whole book or spanned multiple chapters.

Jamy: 3:07

There's the other stories all the way across Genesis.

Amy: 3:10

Yes, so Hannah is in first, samuel one and two, and I'm going to go ahead and read the snapshot, and then I have a few fun facts to share, and then we'll talk about three ways to describe her.

Jamy: 3:20

I think people know of her, but I think they'll be a little surprised to hear her story.

Amy: 3:24

I know and I'm so excited to hear what you have to bring to it too.

Amy: 3:27

Because again y'all, we don't talk about this beforehand, we let it be live. We kind of say this is some notes and these are the three points, but then we just still love the Holy Spirit in our conversation to lead our conversation. So I'm excited to hear what you have to say. So here's a snapshot. Hannah was the mother of the prophet Samuel. She was childless and one of the two wives of Elkina. She prayed for a son, promising to dedicate him to God. Her prayers were answered and she brought Samuel to Shiloh for religious training when he was three ish. Samuel actually anointed the first two kings of Israel, saul and David, and Hannah went on to have five more children, three sons and two daughters and that's counted for Samuel 221, where you see that she has three sons and two dollars.

Amy: 4:11

So after those years of infertility and she got blesses, her with Samuel, and then she gives him up to Eli and the temple and to the Lord, she is able to have five more children.

Jamy: 4:21

And that makes it so much easier for us to battle through her story. I think it's. We know the end, the end versus, but in the middle. It was really hard really hard.

Amy: 4:32

So a couple of fun facts. I love the fun facts we want to be curious about Hannah and I'm always so interested in what I'll find and you guys may have put these pieces together, especially if you've been on the journey with us throughout 2023 and the women we've talked about, but Hannah was the fourth woman in biblical history to suffer through infertility. That's recorded in scripture. There was Sarah, rebecca and Rachel, but Hannah was the one who accepted God's promise with unwavering faith.

Amy: 5:03

And the other three did not, so I want to be more like Hannah in those situations.

Jamy: 5:08

There's a lot of authenticity in her struggle. It's not like she just waltzes through it with no trouble. But the way she handles it and the lessons we learn about how she handles it are far better for us.

Amy: 5:20

So that was the first fun fact. The second fun fact is that she introduced a new holy name of God as the God of hosts in verse 11. In doing so, she taught us that God is the master of the whole universe, the host of heaven and of earth, and the Hebrew word means the God of an army.

Jamy: 5:39

I love that, that's right.

Amy: 5:40

That God of hosts, and she introduced us to that in verse 11.

Jamy: 5:45

Well, when our battle seems so all-encompassing, it's good for us to remember the bigness and the big power of God. I bet that really comforted her.

Amy: 5:54

I bet so too, and I bet it. When I begin to doubt in my faith waivers is because I've lost sight of the bigness of who God is. And so I wonder if these two things work together knowing who God was as the God of hosts, as the God of an army, as a God of all of heaven and of earth and the whole universe, that she was then able to have a wavering faith because she had her eyes set on the true God.

Jamy: 6:19

Absolutely, absolutely.

Amy: 6:21

All right. So those are the little fun facts about Hannah, and now we're going to go into answering the question who is she? And so these are three ways to describe Hannah. And again, looking at, she is one of us, and who God was to her, he is to us. So let's get to know Hannah a little better. The first way that we can describe her is that she lived in grief. Here we are with this man. He has two wives, and we find out very quickly that one of them has children Pinna-na, pinna-na, I don't know how you say it, but pinna-na.

Jamy: 6:56

Well, I looked it up. How do you?

Amy: 6:57

say it? Would you just say it. Well, I have to think about it. So it's, do you see? Pin, pinna-na, pinna-na.

Jamy: 7:03

So it's the emphasis at the end Pinna-na, because I would put it at the beginning Pinna-na, and you know how I used to pronounce it Pinna-na, pinna-na, how I like Pinna-na, pinna-na-na.

Amy: 7:14

It's not even with the words Pinna-na, but it's pinna-na, pinna-na. And her name actually means jewel, which is so contrasting and interesting. Yes, but in verse two, what do you? What does?

Jamy: 7:25

it say the name of the one was Hannah and the name of the other Pinna-na, and Pinna-na had children, but Hannah had no children.

Amy: 7:32

It's pretty clear the situation and, without providing much editorial comment, we get it. Yes, I mean this is happening again. We had Sarah and Hagar, we had Rachel and Leah, Leah and Rachel, and here we are again with another situation. That is very tricky and remember having kids, especially back then and it does for us today too means a sense of identity, security and happiness, yes, so, Elkina, their husband's response to this is what verse five says.

Jamy: 8:08

But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her when.

Amy: 8:14

So here they are at the sacrifice, and this husband, I mean blessing he's got a pickle on his hand. Yeah, because Pinna-na is not a very nice sister wife, no, and he loves Hannah. And so to overcompensate for her lack of children, he does give Pinna-na and their children a portion. Yes, but to Hannah he gives double portion. But it did not go well with these women.

Jamy: 8:42

Well, the story is so clear that he preferred Hannah and that's a whole other thing to imagine how difficult that was for the other wife. But the way she handles it is that she's really hateful and that's also clear in the story. So we know that he loves Hannah. He had to be trying to make up later when he says am I not better to you than to inside. I know he's like come on, I want you to be okay, I want you to know that I love you. So we know that he was trying to help her be okay.

Amy: 9:11

So here we are. He had two wives, hannah and Pinna-na, and they went to this city so that they could worship and sacrifice to the Lord there. And he gave the double portion to Hannah because he loved her the most and didn't have any children. But then, verse six, hannah's rival provoked her bitterly to embarrass and irritate her because the Lord had left her childless. What do you think about that verse?

Jamy: 9:38

Yes, well, I saw when I looked this up in different translations it says that she provoked her grievously severely, she taunted her cruelly, she rubbed it in. The message says she never let it forget. When I looked up the word meaning on this, it means to stir up a heart to a heated position.

Jamy: 9:55

So she was just maybe maybe you know someone like this that and I would imagine from what we know of Hannah that maybe she tried to keep the peace to some degree, and this, this, this other person in her family was always stirring it up to try to get her to a heated disposition, so she was always stealing her peace, she was always wrecking her peace.

Amy: 10:19

It's a I'm sure I mean I've had people in my life like that.

Jamy: 10:23

Yeah, yeah.

Amy: 10:23

Yeah, and those lists you listening? I bet you do too. You may currently be in a relationship right now that you have to be in a relationship with because of family in, and this is the situation that you're a part of. It's exhausting, it's so hard, oh, it's so hard. And and I mean she's the word is very descriptive about Hannah. She was provoked, bitterly, irritate, cruel, embarrassed, cruel I mean, there's so many great adjectives that give us a true picture of what it was like for her in the loss and the longing of her own heart than accentuated by this provoking of someone who actually was sleeping with her husband and having babies.

Jamy: 11:07

Well and to have the thing that is the most tender, the most painful to you, to have someone in your inner life, your inner circle, your close life, who just keeps poking it. I mean the goal, I mean what we all want. What I would want to do for the people in my closest circles is to give them comfort and protection for the places where they, where they're feeling the most pain, to be safe for them. And it's so hard when right there in the center of your home and the center of your life, is someone who is dangerous to you, is toxic, to the places of your greatest vulnerability. I just wonder how much even more difficult, even though she had a husband who loved her how much more difficult it made it for Hannah that there was never a reprieve from this sorrow and I love how you chose that, that phrase to describe her. She lived in grief, it was there was no escape from it.

Jamy: 12:01

And part of it was the situation that that she had in her inner home.

Amy: 12:07

Yeah, and I wonder how that falls on you who are listening. You may be in the center of a place that you're living in the grief and you see no end and no escape in a lifelong and even worse things on the horizon. If anything, may this be a comfort for you that God sees you, that he is working, that he is not forsaking his plan based on the cruelty of somebody else.

Jamy: 12:36

And I think, too, one of my biggest lessons the last few years has been to let go of some of my energy, to get out from under hard situation and learn to stay in it, but stay in it with God, with the treats of God, with the presence of God. And she does that because we see the activity, the actions she's about to take, that we're going to see in the story are all voluntary. She chooses to do these things. No one's forcing her, it's not required of her. She takes these steps so that she can stay. Step, you know, keep in step with God. It makes me think of Galatians five. That says we're to keep in step with the spirit. She stays with him and she keeps her heart open to him. And that's a real challenge when we want to use all of our energy just to escape.

Amy: 13:20

Yes.

Jamy: 13:21

It's so true, and our coping mechanisms can be really messed up.

Amy: 13:25

If you are in an abusive situation and you want to honor God in it.

Amy: 13:32

I were definitely not saying to stay in it, because that's what Hannah did. But there's certain ways in which you do need to escape. You do need to draw boundaries and all those things, and we don't know exactly what. She may have done some of that in order to stay in step with the Lord, but that's what you just need to figure out. And if you are in the midst of a difficult relationship in which you do feel is abusive, please seek help from a Christian counselor.

Amy: 14:03

They will help you unravel the stuff and they're a safe place to be able just to pour it out without any judgment. And we'll give you some good objectivity because they're not emotionally tied into it like maybe your mama is. So it's a great, great resource, but our hearts ache with those of you who are in places like this, and I just wonder what it would have been like for her.

Jamy: 14:26

Well, the waiting was so hard. It says I can't remember which verse, but year by year, yes, in verse seven, year by year. There was a lengthy struggle. It's not just, you know, she wasn't just pouting because she wasn't getting her way.

Amy: 14:40

Exactly, you know, a few months or something like that, and it happened year after year after year in verse seven. So it happened year after year Whenever she went up to the house of the Lord. Isn't that interesting when she goes to worship? Penninah provoked her, so Hannah wept and would not eat. Now I handle grief and hard things in different ways. Sometimes I don't eat, but most of the time I do. I'm usually the opposite.

Jamy: 15:05

Give me some ice cream, I can feel better.

Amy: 15:07

Or a chocolate chip cookie Straight out of the cart. Yes, that's right, but at this point she wept and would not eat. So then Okinaw and her husband which blesses heart he's. He saw her crying and he goes Hannah, why are you crying and why aren't you eating? At least involved in asking why are you so sad and discontented? He's not understanding the loss that she feels with a constant reminder of what someone else has. And he then says am I not better to you than ten cents?

Jamy: 15:40

She didn't say anything and recorded in the airing. I like and well I understand the thought behind that. I know it's such a powerless place when you cannot be, you cannot alleviate someone you love, you can't leave, alleviate their grief and I saw it that is so hard and I appreciate I mean. It endears me to him that he's trying, but there's just nothing.

Amy: 16:04

He can do is nothing he can do, and I love that layer of the deer man, that's a good way to say it, because he's trying and I have been in situations to where I have tried and tried too hard and it did not land well and it was not very helpful and I thought I was being helpful, so I get it. So then verse nine Hannah got up after eating, so she did eat and drink, and Shiloh now Eli, the priest, was sitting on his seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. In verse ten, hannah was greatly distressed and she prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish. What does that verse mean to you?

Jamy: 16:43

One of my favorite things about this is we tend when we're at our breaking point we all have different ways we cope with this, but typically the people closest to us get the overflow of this. And I think it's so interesting that she went to God. Yes, she went to him privately. This is something we can not, not, you need your people, yes, so I'm not I'm not saying don't pour out your heart to trusted friends and advisors and counselors and all of that, but I think it's really an important part to see here that in her grief, she went to God and she and she's laying it all out.

Jamy: 17:19

She's not hiding anything and we tend to hide from God, even though he we know he can see everything. We hide our hearts from him and we pour them out to people and I think we need to be very careful to remember to reverse that. I think it's so neat to see she goes to God privately, but she goes intentionally, because later, when she's misunderstood, she's like she doesn't, she's not embarrassed, she's like no, I was telling God, I think I was telling God how I feel and I think I think we can do that just without shame, unashamedly, without embarrassment. Take our broken hearts to him. He can handle it.

Amy: 17:52

He welcomes it. And have you done that before?

Jamy: 17:55

Yes, me too it's not pretty but there's just a.

Amy: 17:59

It doesn't need to be care there's.

Jamy: 18:02

That's right. He's not waiting for us to have it all together. I think of the song that says to pour out our hearts before him. He wants it. He wants it all unfiltered. He can take every theologically wrong thing that we say in our sorrow. He can take the bad words. He takes it all and he helps us to sort through it and he gives us the strength to be able to stay there with him until we are okay.

Amy: 18:28

And if you think about this and wonder I don't think I could go to God with all this what can he do anyway?

Jamy: 18:34

Remember that he's the God of hosts he's the God of all of our members of armies.

Amy: 18:40

He's the heaven and of earth and he is intimately involved with where you're at and and has a plan for you and wants to bless you with his presence, first and foremost. So then we see, I love that. She wept in anguish because I've done that. I'm a crier and I used to be more of one.

Amy: 19:02

the older I've gotten a little harder, but you always are you're always a soft, sweet responder in emotion, but in verse 11 she then makes a vow to the Lord, saying oh, lord of hosts, that's where we see this God of hosts for the first time. If you will indeed look on the affliction of your maid servant and remember and do not forget your maid servant, but will give your maid servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and erasure shall never touch his head. There's so many things within this vow and and one of the things that I had wrestled with early on that just recently have really secured this that this is not a manipulation of Lord. You give this to me and then I'll give him to you.

Jamy: 19:46

Yeah, it reads to us like an if then statement, but that is not what it is.

Amy: 19:51

It's not, it is a very honest and truthful petitioning of the Lord, and she started with oh, lord of hosts. But it's all caps LORD in your Bible and that is in reference to him as Yahweh, the faithful, the personal, the covenant God. She knows that he is Yahweh to her.

Jamy: 20:12

Yes and I think that's another key my God covenant keeper, promise keeper hear my heart. Yes, don't leave me in this.

Amy: 20:19

And that changes the temperature of the prayer when you begin with him as Yahweh.

Jamy: 20:28

When it shows. I think this vow it's not just a bargain. I promise I'll do whatever you want if you'll just give me the kid with no intention of actually keeping the vow. It is a vow made that shows the depth of her faith and how, in the kind of mother she wants to be, in what way she wants to be the kind of mother that would devote her children to God, that her, her mothering her children will be a reflection of her vow that they belong to him.

Jamy: 20:57

This is a big deal A lot of times we want God's interaction in our family and in our mothering, but only to make things work the way we say they should, which really is us being God. So when things, when, when our kids have an issue or a problem or make a choice or have all kinds of things throughout their lifetimes that don't fit with our idea of what the perfection of parenting should be, we somehow feel like God hasn't kept up his end of the deal, when really we're just worshiping ourselves. It's just idolatry.

Amy: 21:27

So having this shows her heart.

Jamy: 21:29

She's not saying if you give me the kid, I'll promise I'll do. She's saying the kind of mother I want to be is the one who fully devotes her parenting, her mothering, to you. And that is who she is, and it requires immense sacrifice. It's I can't even imagine it. But she not only makes this vow, she keeps it. Yes.

Amy: 21:50

And she doesn't have to. She doesn't have to, and we're going to get to that because she is just amazing. So before we move into verses 12 and on, let's go to the next part, about who she is and how to describe her. That she first of all was she lived in grief for all those years bearing and being provoked. And number two, she poured out her heart, and this is something that I learned to do in my 20s. That radically I flipped it on its head, my relationship with the Lord, because it moved from a religious kind of stoic exchange to a heartfelt dependence in relationship. It really cracked the barrier for me is when I learned how to pour out my heart to him and be in relation yeah, relational.

Jamy: 22:43

Well, I think this is really important and this kind of goes back to understanding. We pray like this. We pray silently, in fact, mostly like if you're in a even if you're in a congregational setting, if the pastor or the leader leads the group to pray, everyone's just bowing their heads and praying silently. But the way that they prayed was praying out loud at certain prescribed times, and so for her to do this is not she's not following some religious ruler example, she's not kind of doing it the way that church does it she's. She's going to him in a way that's genuine and sincere and that breaks the norm?

Jamy: 23:19

Yes, it breaks and she's not hiding anything. She's not doing it for show. Obviously she kind of makes it full of herself. She's not trying to to be fancy or to be religious or to be, you know, to impress guys.

Amy: 23:30

It's really authentic, yes, authentic desperation, of distress and turning to the Yahweh, the Lord of Hosts, for help, and this is what we see in verse 12. Now it happened, as she continued praying before the Lord, that Eli was watching her mouth. Hannah was speaking in her heart and mind and only her lips were moving and her voice was not heard. So Eli, of course, thought she was drunk. Yeah, let's jump to the most bizarre, crazy.

Jamy: 23:58

I don't know, maybe that's, maybe that was something he saw, I can surely have a look, and maybe she really looked like it. I don't know.

Amy: 24:04

But I mean moving your lips and in wondering, because it is against the norm and what he's used to.

Jamy: 24:09

That's right and what they're used to. Yeah, I kind of took offense, but it might be that he might have good reason to think of this?

Amy: 24:14

I don't know. I'm not a fan of Eli. I think he didn't have much good reason in any of it. But it's just interesting, because any asterisk verse 14. How long will you make yourself drunk? Get rid of your wine, yeah, and how many would be able to stand up to him. I would have just scurried straight out crying. That's so true, I'm already crying.

Amy: 24:31

I know so already in this really vulnerable emotional state but she says in verse 15, she answered, but no, my Lord, I am a woman with a despairing spirit. I have not been drinking wine or any intoxicating drink, but I have poured out my soul before the Lord.

Jamy: 24:50

I am not a worthless woman.

Amy: 24:52

Yeah.

Jamy: 24:53

She throws that off and says no, I'm here, I belong here, and what I'm doing is right.

Amy: 24:58

Oh, what a strong woman. Yeah, I love it. So verse 16, she's 16. She says so. Do not regard your may serve it as a wicked or worthless woman. Basically, don't talk to me stupid like that. Yes, for I have spoken until now out of my great concern and bitter provocation.

Jamy: 25:15

I know the ESV says vexation, which vex is one of my favorite words, I just love it. I'm speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.

Amy: 25:22

I do use that word. You're normal, you do embarrassingly occasionally.

Jamy: 25:26

I can't wait to hear you say that sometime in conversation. I can't get to my head. It kind of comes up.

Amy: 25:30

It's so vexing but it is just so beautiful and I love this idea and visual of pouring out your heart, and that's why number two is so important. For me to have it be a way to describe her is that she poured out her heart. It's interesting in verse 10, when it says that Hannah was greatly distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish, it means she was bitterness, she had bitterness of soul and she wept sore. And that root, distressed, which is bitterness, is the same word that Naomi called herself Mara in Ruth 120. And so here we see two difficult situations, women in two difficult situations one turning to the Lord in humility and request and the other one just getting bitter about it and calling it out.

Jamy: 26:17

And I just I know we've already kind of said this, but I cannot reiterate enough how amazing it is that these are the words. She speaks aloud to a man in authority who has just insulted her.

Jamy: 26:29

She knows why she is there, and the first step to dealing with bitterness, to dealing with any kind of negative emotion, of course, yes, she's giving it to God, but she's also giving it names. She's naming this stuff. I mean none of this. All of the words that describe her pouring out use negative words, because they're negative emotions. She's feeling all of the bitterness, the vexation, anxiety, brokenness, anguish, resentment. Those are just some of them. When she calls it what it is before God, she's setting herself in the right place to be able to let go of it.

Amy: 27:05

Oh, wait, wait, wait To be able to find some healing from it.

Jamy: 27:07

Pause, pause, pause. Say that again when she, when she calls it what it is before God, she's putting herself in the right place to find his power. Yeah, I mean, it's one thing just to vent it or to let let it like passive, aggressively come out in all of your relationships.

Jamy: 27:23

Oh yeah, that's not helpful but most of the time we need, we don't even always take the time to say, okay, what am I feeling? What is this? I mean, you know, just this week I was feeling kind of strange at the end of the night. I was kind of struggling. I knew my emotions weren't quite right, but I couldn't figure it out. I was like, why am I so irritable? Because that's what was coming out.

Jamy: 27:44

It took toward my family. It was irritation, but what when I spent just 20 seconds of asking God what is going on? What is this? It was an anxiety over an emotional thing that I was doing the next day, over something that I was going to be doing the next day. That made me feel a little bit nervous about how my emotions could handle it. It was coming out of it as irritability, but really it was the fear that I wasn't going to be able to be strong enough to do something that was required of me the next day. So we've got to learn to take a little bit of time to call it exactly what it is in the safety of prayer man. We just don't do this. Why don't we do this?

Amy: 28:19

I know I wish. I usually do it at a breaking point.

Amy: 28:22

But, if we could make it more of a habit and, honestly, this last year I mean, I was at a really difficult space in my life. November of last year, of 2022. And didn't really have a purpose was in transition in a number of different ways and I was really blah and knew what I needed to do. Goodness, I'd been a Christian for so long and taught other women how to do this, but I just went feeling it and I was more comfortable in the irritation and the bitterness than I was in vulnerability and breaking free, and so I thought it wasn't working for me. I was miserable.

Amy: 29:05

And so, through the course of a conversation with a friend and through a new opportunity that I'd had, I began. I was challenged and I began journaling. It got word and I had not journaled, for I mean, I think I had not journaled consistently since before I was married, because once you then share a bed with somebody, you're just like I'm gonna journal. And then you have children.

Amy: 29:30

And then it just I just didn't have time and I didn't even have the words. I don't think I was so depleted of words, but then I think I probably was also hiding from the emotions because it was just easier to keep going. And so last year let's see, in January of 2023, I began consistently ish journaling and just pouring it out to the Lord and I would put the different people's names that I'm praying for and draw circles around them and come back to them each day and draw more circles as I prayed for them and and listed out specifics of requests and then wrote down how God specifically answered those things and the best gifts of that and I we, I forget so much that I did not realize really what a prayer I am I shame?

Amy: 30:15

myself into thinking that I didn't do it good enough. So so God didn't give me what I wanted, but I was, and so I have to just surrender to the results of what God is choosing to do, because there's nothing that I can do there's. I can't pray harder for something that I want to make him give it to me. I have to relinquish that. And so I'm telling y'all, if, if you know, if you've heard this whole journaling thing and you're not a writer or you don't have a pretty handwriting or you're, I'm telling you it is transformative.

Amy: 30:50

So when I started my journal this year, January, I went, I looked right over to last year and I was like I have done this consistently for a year. That's amazing, and I'm telling you my connection with the Lord has been so sweet this year. It hasn't been like mountaintop and desert, like that whole weird extreme swing which I usually have. So, y'all, there is such power and pouring out your heart. If it feels weird or awkward or uncomfortable, push through it. Yes, it is worth it. Any new thing feels weird, Absolutely, and even old things feel weird. We're we're awkward people and we feel awkward.

Jamy: 31:32

Well, that's such a practical instruction. You're giving a practical thing, your teaching encouragement, because, as they're journaling and writing, I don't edit it, don't, don't even read, don't even reread it. As you're doing it, it's just to pour out your heart and then you can have someone on standby that you know, knows where your journals are, in case something happens.

Amy: 31:53

I can go and snap them and y'all, I'm telling you, I have said some really mean things to God. I've seen some really ugly things that I didn't think I could utter, that it kept secret in my heart and it continued to have power over me.

Jamy: 32:07

That's right and that's where the bitterness comes from. So when we tell him it, when we tell him those things, he was like okay, it exposes them, the secrecy is gone, and then he helps you deal with it because he meets you with his unfailing love. And then you got to decide if you're going to accept or reject that. And I think that's where we kind of feel like it's a sin to even feel those things or think those things. It's not until we start cherishing them. And so if you can get that out and say, god, I feel forgotten, I mean, it's what?

Amy: 32:34

she says God, please.

Jamy: 32:36

I feel so abandoned. I'm so frustrated that you continue to let this go. Please help me understand if you stay there with him. He is faithful to me, you and it's this.

Amy: 32:45

point out doesn't have to be pretty, and so I want to share with you something. Some of the things that I've said about God.

Amy: 32:51

Okay, let's hear it because I just want y'all to know that it's okay. I have said how dare you? Yeah, I have said who do you think you are? I have said some things that I won't say here that because they're just not appropriate, but I am so mad at you. This is not fair. I can do better than you can do with my life or with my kids life Back off. I mean, I've said all those things to the God of hosts and so just in hearing that, I hope maybe it lands on your heart of saying me too and you will no longer hide in the shadows, of coming out and pouring out your heart to him, because he can take it. He knows you, he loves you still and he will not turn his back on you Absolutely. But what it does is that it draws you to him as you pour out your heart.

Jamy: 33:44

He welcomes it because he knows the vulnerability that in that openness that's that's we're putty in his hands, then, because our hearts are open and he can just pour in, not just challenge and conviction and truth telling, which he does. He calls out the sin, looks right at it and calls it exactly what it is, but he also meets us with forgiveness and grace and power. No one else you've ever been to has power to help you deal with these things and change. Change and grow.

Amy: 34:13

And to those who are rationally minded out there, it doesn't make sense. I know this doesn't make sense, but I promise, if you have a face, small mental faith, that this could make sense. We ask you just to try it and just to pour out your heart and see what God will do. I love it. There's two verses in scripture and Old Testament that I just love about pouring out your heart, and it's one some that I've memorized, I've put on cards when I'm in seasons in which I need to remind myself. It's Psalm 62, eight, which says pour out your heart before him. God is a refuge for us, meaning he pour out your heart, he's a safe place and a protector of you. And then Lamentations 219, which a lot, especially in the teenage and well potty train all parenting.

Jamy: 35:00

I was going to say the teenage years. I was like, wait a minute.

Amy: 35:03

Potty training was really hard and the fits and all those things. But Lamentations 219 says pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord, lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children. And I have clung to that verse and I have forgotten that verse and then I've remembered that verse. But just imagine your heart and your words as water and a picture pouring them out at the feet of Jesus. Oh, that's good and it's just beautiful. So Hannah lived in grief, she poured out her heart. And number three, she was faithful in obedience. Yes, she was. In verse 16, we've already said that. She said don't disregard me, I'm not wicked or worthless, I'm only speaking now out of great concern. So then Eli said go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant your repetition that you have asked of him. And Hannah said let your maid servant find grace and favor in your sight. So the woman went on her way and ate and her face was no longer sad. What do you make of?

Jamy: 36:07

that. I think this shows the depth of her faith. She heard Eli say go in peace, god's going to answer your prayer and she believed it. She went on. She was like, yeah, I went and I just poured out my heart to him. He's going to do what I asked. It shows a greatness of faith that I think is staggering. It is, I think. She believed him, believed, oh, my goodness.

Amy: 36:29

And believed the Lord of hosts to deliver it. So then, in verse 19, the family got up there next morning, worshiped before the Lord and returned to their home. And then Elk and I knew Hannah, his wife, and the Lord remembered her prayer. So in verse 20, it came about in due time after Hannah had conceived that she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying because I have asked for him from the Lord. So here we are. Will she follow through with the vow that she made about giving him to the Lord all of her days? There have been so many situations in my life in which I've asked, completed God for things because we're desperate, desperate, and then we get it and then I don't. I hold on tightly, no, memory of any of that.

Jamy: 37:19

That's what shows us that none of this was an if, then If you do this, I'll do. None of it was that to the core.

Amy: 37:24

Because then her husband says I'm going to go back and worship and give the yearly sacrifice, but Hannah had an idea and she just said I'm not going to go until this child is weaned and then I'll bring him so that he can be up here for the Lord and remain there as long as he lives. I don't the sacrifice, the place of letting go that she entered into motherhood with, I'm still trying to figure out it's unbelievable, it's beautiful, I mean it terrifying, kind of scary.

Jamy: 38:00

And also this story is one that we learn. It's instructive, it's not prescriptive. This isn't saying we all have to do it just the same way, but we can pull the things out to learn from her. And one of the things I learned when I studied her I just really briefly went to address is there's a passage in Numbers 30 that talks about if a wife makes a vow, basically without her husband, they can take it back. You know he's like oh wait, no, we didn't mean that. She said that I can't remember what the phrase. That's cool, we need to take time to look it up, but the phrase like it's a baseless or worthless vow. So basically, if she makes a vow in that desperate emotion, she can be relieved of it. If her husband says, hey, I wasn't there and I didn't hear that we're not doing that and they could have used that loophole to keep Samuel. And this again shows how serious she was about this oath and the calling of it. And I know I'm jumping way ahead. But what if Hannah had not made this vow? What if Samuel had not been there? Eli sends are worthless.

Jamy: 39:01

The text says Samuel became the bridge, the godly bridge, between the gap between the horrible time of the judges, when everyone was just doing what was right in their own eyes. He was the gap between that and between the monarchy. So kind of think, you know, kind of the gap between all of the judges that we've talked about and all of their stories, all the way into King Solomon. Eventually, king David Samuel is the man of God. During that time he is the one and really the only voice reminding the people of who God is and what God demands and how they should worship him. And that had, what if Hannah had not been courageous enough? What if Hannah had not been obedient and I know this speaks to her obedience so much, because this is how much it matters. And this is how much it matters in the little things. Our obedience to God as we mother, as we parents, has repercussions that we can't even see. And so just do the little things, do the next little right things to obey God.

Amy: 40:05

It's gonna be okay. Oh, it's gonna be okay. Do you need to hear that in your parenting today? It's gonna be okay. Do the little things day by day. And she didn't know how he would play a part in history. She was just being faithful to promise, that's right. She didn't know what was coming.

Jamy: 40:23

I mean, she and Elk and I were worshiping God in a way that other people weren't, so maybe that was just the values of their home, but it's it's amazing, it is, and it speaks man.

Amy: 40:34

It speaks so much so she does not go up and but we see her being faithful at that time Weaned him and so in 24, now, when she had weaned him, and let's put a pause there, okay, so that means she's no longer breastfeeding.

Jamy: 40:48

That's what weaned. They were older, probably yes.

Amy: 40:51

Then our babies would be. It was probably between, you know, four and five, or two and three or whatever the younger part. Because within scripture in this story it says that weaning was mentioned and Samuel's youth was also emphasized and we see that within that verse that brought Samuel to the Lord's house, although the child was young. So that's why they think it wasn't like eight or nine, it was more like two or three. But then I just contextually, what weaning there was such a high this was interesting to me. There's such a high infant mortality rate existed in ancient cultures that one reason for large families was the fact that many young children did not live to adulthood and because of the risks that infants faced, the celebration of a child's weaning was a natural and important part of the culture, because if a child developed past the need for the physical support of his mother, then he or she had reached a new stage of life that greatly increased the likelihood of good health.

Jamy: 41:50

This child is going to survive.

Amy: 41:53

Basically, let's have a party. Yeah, oh my goodness. And I, when I brought my little child, I didn't think there. I was like, oh my gosh, I have to calculate their poops and colors and and feeding and sleeps and I didn't know if I could help make them survive. But I knew that there was always Our modern-day medicine some help.

Amy: 42:15

Yeah, if there, yes, I'm back, then there wasn't, and so for the Celebration to come that he's weaned, but yet for her immediately to go and let him go and give him up, yeah, I just, I just love her.

Jamy: 42:30

I just want to be like she's so strong.

Amy: 42:33

She is so strong. And there's verse and verse 25. Then they slaughtered the bull and brought the child that Eli. Verse 26 Hannah said oh, my lord is surely your soul, is my lord. I am the woman who stood beside you here praying to the Lord, and this is the verse for this child. I prayed and the Lord had granted me my request, which I asked of him. Therefore, I have also dedicated him to the Lord as long as he lives. He has dedicated to the Lord and they worshiped the Lord there. Worship the Lord. What do you make of that verse?

Jamy: 43:04

I think it's a, it's a finality, it's a celebration. There's sadness in this, in these verses and this part of the story to me, because my mother heart Imagines what she's giving up, but I think for her I'm sure that was there, but in the context, in these verses, it's celebration. It is the totality of celebrating thought, this whole process and Her hope in what this little boy is going to grow up to be. And you know what? Everything Hannah dreamt of, samuel, he became.

Amy: 43:37

Mmm he became, but it required her letting go of him. Yes, and although In this day and age we're not dropping our kids off at the temple, letting them go, and never, and he lived there for the rest of his life we have opportunities all throughout their upbringing to surrender them to the Lord, whether it be in our controlling manipulation of their lives, orchestrating their social yes setting, making Sure everything is smooth and easy, protecting them from pain. Protecting them from pain, all those things, and then, when they become teenagers and adulting, and Actually really having to let them go, I Just I so resonate with where she's at, I guess, specifically because I have adulting kids Emerging yes, I'm launching launching kids and I find myself, even in conversation, holding on, yeah, telling them advice, wanting to protect them, wanting to Help them make it easier, and they really don't appreciate that.

Amy: 44:51

And so I just think there's a lesson to learn here and to remember and I actually prayed this on my firstborn's Baby announcement was this very verse was it on your seat?

Jamy: 45:04

No, but it's a pop, it's a very senior baby. Babies. I didn't know what I was talking about Because in the context, it's her prayer celebration to get some up but the sacrifice that that means.

Amy: 45:16

And now, having been a parent for 20, almost 22 years, knowing what the cost is of of hurting with your kids, through the hurts of having the Wondering, the questions of the decisions that they're making and and how it's all gonna turn out, of the angst, of the grief day and day out, like what she lived in even before kids, I just this has taken a whole new meaning, even within our conversation. Yeah, of knowing how faithful she was to obey God and to trust him With who Samuel was, because ultimately he wasn't hers right.

Jamy: 45:59

And in Hannah's story we can see and imagine the loss to God's kingdom if she had refused To to walk with God into this and it's okay. I'm sure she held some sorrow in her heart even as she was celebrating, but that's a lesson for us celebrate the places where they're following God, even if those decisions are taking them away from you. That's that's hard to do, that's very hard to do, and there's a kind of the joyful sorrow that we hold in tandem. In that, in the, in that tension, god is with us. He is enough to help us to do that well, because we don't want to be a stumbling block to what God has called them to do, because they might be the same you'll of their generation and we need them.

Amy: 46:42

We need them to be unafraid to follow God and to be more devoted to God than they are to their family, with our mom, I know, jamie, it just I'm gonna have to think about this and we just we just hope that, as we had this conversation and whoever is listening, wherever you're at, whether it be in the parenting journey or the infertility journey or just wrestling with God through the plans that you had so hoped and thought would happen that are not, that these seeds of truth will land on a well-warted heart Absolutely, and that you will continue to have conversation with the Lord and that you will get into the practice of pouring out your heart to him, and it's not an immediate rescue of relief.

Amy: 47:31

No but he is present and he is there and we see how he built her up. Yes, absolutely. Well, do you have anything else to say? Well, I just want to encourage.

Jamy: 47:40

We didn't spend time on it, but go on your own and spend some time in chapter 2 and see Hannah's. In Hannah's song we see the truce that she is saying about God, declaring about God, about God's people, about her journey with him. That's such an encouragement to us in this journey too, so take some time in that. One of the things she talks about is that the, his strength, would be exalted. I just love that reminder. He exalts our strength, he gives us the ability to do, he is strong, he gives us strength and that's that's such a beautiful thing that she sings.

Amy: 48:11

So keep go look at that. Well, I'm so glad you said that because I totally forgot about chapter 2. But it's her prayer and, and it's so interesting as you go through just kind of Highlighter underlying the thing, and I love that she says the thing. Highlight a verse that is impacting to you. Yeah, but verse 2, the last one, there is no rock, there's like our God.

Jamy: 48:32

God, he is her stability.

Amy: 48:34

Oh, my goodness, there's just so many, so many wonderful truths to cling to and it's kind of divided into three different parts. This is she talks about who God is. You are the God of knowledge, you are mighty, you are holy, you are these things in gratitude and praising and and humility. And then she moves into this and you have done these things. Yeah, so you are. And then you've done these things and he has the power of salvation and creation and he has the power to reach into your situation and to be working in ways that you have no idea that he's working.

Amy: 49:14

And then she moves into what he is going to do and and I have read that Hannah is equated as a prophetess because she does do some prophecy here in verse 10 that he will give strength to his king as a prophecy for the king, that he will anoint, the monarchy is doesn't exist yet, right, and it is coming the other thing that I loved is verse 9, the last half of it, for a man shall not prevail by might, and and I underlined it then, I highlight it and then I run out to the side control issues.

Amy: 49:50

So it's a great reminder that we shall not prevail by our own might About the Lord of hosts staying dependent on him. She does it very, very beautifully, very well very courageously she does, and then she goes home and doesn't even know if she'll have any more kids, and that's another part of the story that she's not. She's not going back with the Expectation that she's gonna be a mother.

Jamy: 50:18

Yeah, but we do know that Eli blesses both of them, both Hannah and Elkina. Every year when they come they receive a blessing, so maybe that encouraged her, but there's no promise that more babies so this she could be letting go and walk away from her very dream of being a mom.

Amy: 50:32

Yeah, but she did, and the Lord blesses her with more children.

Jamy: 50:35

He gives her more babies, and she parented them with that same courage that she was the mother that she already is. She was that mother to them. I bet they were amazing.

Amy: 50:44

These are two stories of two mothers as well and I just think that's so interesting because of the rest of the story of pen and all mm-hmm is really tragic and really sad. I was doing some research because her kids, most of her kids, died. Yeah, I know, and it's really sad.

Amy: 50:59

Let's see two of her children died whenever Hannah gave birth to Samuel, and then she witnessed the death of eight of her ten children. The last two were spared solely as a result of Hannah's intercession with the Almighty on her behalf. Yeah, so it just is a really Tragic part to there's a tale of two mothers for sure.

Jamy: 51:20

Yeah, I didn't know.

Amy: 51:22

And so we just pray that this has been, this conversation has encouraged you and that Whatever truth that the Lord has laid on your heart, that he will continue to grow it and deepen it right within you. It's because, ladies, we were not alone. No and who Hannah was. We are the same, she is one of us, and who God was to her, he is to you and me and we are just so grateful for him for that grateful.

Amy: 51:51

Well, we hope that you enjoyed listening and we look forward to joining back together again next month for car chat.